Supporting At-Home Miscarriage

What do you think about when you think of miscarriage? What thoughts, images, feelings are invoked?

This piece is for you to fully understand miscarriage from a grounded, embodied, and easeful place. One that allows you to begin your journey to align yourself with YOUR OWN perception of miscarriage and how to support yourself, or another woman move through this right of passage. It will offer a new perspective that delivers the opportunity to expand what we know to be true about miscarriage and how we ‘should’ view it.

Despite what societal norms will tell you, there are options for HOW, WHEN, and WHERE a woman may wish to release a pregnancy. We expect that all women want to achieve this quickly, without pain, and outside of her home….which may be true for some, but it is also true that many women want to feel deeply connected to and embodied in this experience as well. It is heartbreaking to know that the majority of women who experience miscarriage simply do not know they have options in the first place. Having CHOICE allows for an experience that is empowered by the woman herself. An experience that can avoid traumatic outcomes, no matter how “normal” they have become. And an experience that leaves a woman feeling capable, strong, and trusting her body.

Miscarriage Facts:

· Miscarriage is defined as spontaneous, uninitiated pregnancy loss before or at 20 weeks gestation ~ pregnancy loss after this point is considered still birth, or infant death.

· 10-20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. These statistics are likely inaccurate as they do not account for the many women who experience miscarriage without knowing that it is occurring, especially if it is before 8 weeks.

· Up to 80% of miscarriage occurs within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy

Although spontaneous bleeding is the most obvious sign of miscarriage, there may be some indications that miscarriage is occurring before any blood is seen. You may feel bloated, crampy, dizzy or just overall “off”, more enhanced feelings but similar to when a period is coming. When bleeding does begin, and is more than spotting (which is a variation of normal in pregnancy), it is the progression of miscarriage. At this point, the miscarriage is not preventable or reversible, meaning it is safe to pause, and take time ~ there is no urgency needed. It is an opportunity to be with the body, connect with the womb, and decide how one would like to support the release.

There are multiple ways a woman may choose to support herself through a pregnancy loss, including receiving medical attention. In this setting women are offered medication, and sometimes surgery to successfully remove the pregnancy. She may also wish to see a practitioner following her at-home miscarriage for any additional support or questions. If this is the choice that allows the woman to feel more empowered and emotionally safe than it is the right choice for her. Even if a women initially decides to receive medical care, she can at ANY point go home and refuse care. It is essential that women know their rights in these settings so their experience is one that is supportive to her overall well-being.

Miscarrying At Home

The following will be education for women who wish to miscarry at home. This involves letting the body pass the pregnancy in its own time while self- monitoring. This often will mean the woman can remain in her own space as she moves through the pregnancy release, which reduces interference with the bodies natural ability to pass a pregnancy, thus creating presence and surrender.

Ways to hold space, nourish, and support at home miscarriage

+ move the body (intuitive movements, hip circles, squatting, hands and knees, dancing)
+ warm bath/shower
+ drinking warm fluids
+ alone time in nature
+ sing, moan, yell, jaw massage (the jaw and the pelvis are intimately connected)
+ tell a loved one, call a doula, reach out for support
+ “free bleeding” do not insert anything into vagina to encourage outward flow
+ mantras “I am safe”, “I release”, “I trust my body and its innate intelligence”, “I love my womb”

She will need to take time away from responsibilities for that day, and preferably plan to rest for the days following.

How to Self-Monitor/What To Look For:

- Excessive bleeding (heavy period with significant clotting is normal; soaking through two maxi pads within one hour is too much)

- Fever + Chills (normal during height of miscarriage but is a sign of infection if it persists; use your own discretion)

- Pain (pain is expected during miscarriage and may linger for up to 5 days; you can use warmth to ease cramping (baths are amazing here), marijuana use can also be beneficial for pain during miscarriage)

- Fear + Emotional Well-Being (Do you need support? Do you feel safe where you are? What thoughts are consuming your mind?)

Grieving + Ritual After Early Pregnancy Loss

Grieving begins the moment a woman knows she is miscarrying. She will continue to feel the ebbs and flows of that pregnancy loss throughout the entire process, and for the years to come. Even in the case of potentially feelings of relief that a pregnancy has passed, there is still grieving that occurs.

For some, collecting the embryo that is released from the body can be very healing. Many times, miscarriage is only felt in the body, but never touched or seen visibly. For the grieving process, this is really valuable to be able to understand and heal.

Having ceremony around miscarriage also offers comfort. This can look many different ways:
- Prayer and mantra “I trust the timing of life”, “I honor the process of death”, “May this life go with ease and know they are loved”
- Burying the embryo in a place you can return to, or back into the earth as an offering and appreciation of the life that was created.
- Honoring death in a way that feels nourishing and safe to you.
- Acknowledgment of the Mother that was initiated in the women who miscarried. Even though she does not have a baby to hold, she has given birth to life that she made in her womb.

Other Natural Supports:

Should you wish to have assistance that is noninvasive and nourishing to the bodies natural release process, acupuncture and herbs can be very helpful. Having a trusted acupuncturist who can see you during this time may be desired if you are feeling stagnation or resistance in the body. Acupuncture works to pinpoint the energetic holds of the uterus and cervix, allowing it to open and let go of the pregnancy with more ease, thus reducing pain. Be sure to see a practitioner who specializes in birth and reproductive health. There are many herbs to support pregnancy release before, during and after miscarriage. More about herbs will be in another piece to inform more deeply, as these are medicines and honored as such.

If you have any questions, wish to share your experience, or are seeking support in some way, please connect with me I will be so happy to hear from you.

Warmly and with Love,

Michelle